Posts tagged things I’m not
You know those women who are just naturally thin. They eat whatever they want, don’t exercise and manage to maintain a size 4. These same women get pregnant, pop out a kid, and then within weeks they look exactly like they did before they got knocked up. We all know someone like this and, well, I’m not one of them. If you happen to be one of them, I secretly hate you. (Not really, but I am a little bit jealous.)
I’m the type of woman who has to work out hard and eat just right in order to maintain a specific weight. And let me tell you, I’m not good at either of those things. I’m not a lazy, sit on the couch all day type of person but I’m far from a gym rat. I like fruit but I’d much prefer a bowl of ice cream or a piece of cheese cake. Who wouldn’t?
Well, back in September I think it was, I started working out regularly. I was on the treadmill at least three nights a week and was lifting light weights and doing some resistance training, all with the help and guidance of my wonderful husband. I started eating better. I wasn’t dieting per se but I became more aware of what I put in my mouth. I still ate pizza and cookies, just not as often and in smaller quantities. I felt great. The best part – I lost 15 lbs in about 2 months! People were starting to notice that I had lost weight and it was a huge boost of confidence for me.
Then winter really set in. I got sick. The kids got sick. The holidays came around. I got sick again. The kids were sick again. It was terrible. Needless to say, my motivation went out the window and the working out came to an end. It wasn’t intentional, it sort of just happened. I’ve gained about five of the fifteen pounds back and I’m not happy about it. I’ve made two attempts to get back on the band wagon. But I’ve failed each time. Life just keeps getting in the way (read: I can’t get motivated). Now we’re getting ready to move which means packing and cleaning and doing a million and one things. At the end of the day the last thing I want to be doing is working out. But since I’m not one of those women blessed with the ability to eat whatever I want and still wear a size 4, I’m going to make a third attempt to get back at it.
I’ll start Monday.
Bearing the cloak of motherhood places you in situations that you would never otherwise be in. Moms are faced with decisions every day and must choose to do ‘this’ or ‘that’. Most times, there is no happy medium. As soon as that line appears on the pregnancy test, a soon to be mom must start making her decisions. What kind of prenatal vitamins will I take? Will I use a doula, a midwife, or just an OB? How should I tell my husband that we’re pregnant? And the decisions don’t stop there… breast or bottle? co-sleep or not? cloth diapers or disposable? cry it out (CIO) or not? vaccinate on schedule or delay? when to introduce solids? And the list goes on and on and on…
The problem with all of these decisions is that once you make it, you immediately become a part of a group and are often labeled or stereotyped into a category. This is something that I just can not stand. Just as no two children are the same, no two mothers are the same. I feel that moms make the choices that they make because they are 1) doing what they believe in and 2) doing what works best for their family. I do not think that moms choose to do what they do because they want to “fit in” or be a part of a certain mothering clique. However, after belonging to various parenting forums over the years, it’s quite obvious that even if you do not want to be labeled or stereotyped as a certain type of mom, you will be.
I’m not going to claim that I have all the answers or know the best way to do X, Y and Z. But I do what is right for my children and my family. Do I think that breastfeeding is important and the best start for a baby? Yes, I do. But I also understand that it’s not the best choice for everyone. There are many reasons why it doesn’t work out and therefore I do not judge the way a mother feeds her child. As long as the child is fed, I am happy. Both of my daughters weaned to formula around 10 months. It is what worked for us as a family. Do I co-sleep? No, I don’t. Most times, sleep is the only time of the day that I get to spend alone with my husband. I don’t want to be sharing my bed with yet another person. I like sleep too much. Both of my kids sleep great in their own spaces. But I have no problem with people who do co-sleep either. If it works best for them, then I say go for it. My sentiments are the same for all of the big mommy decisions. I do what I do because it works and it’s what is right for me yet I do not judge others who do the opposite.
I really wish that other moms felt the same way that I do about all of these decisions. I’m glad there are different parenting “styles” because it gives moms options to do what is best for them. I don’t think that just because a mom breastfeeds and uses cloth diapers that she is crunchy or granola. Likewise, I don’t think that if a mom formula feeds and uses disposable diapers that she doesn’t love her children and hates the environment. Live and let live! Can’t we all just get along?
A phone person – I’ve never been one for the phone. I’d just rather talk to a person face to face. I can count on one hand the number of phone calls I’ve made in the last week. Unless I am calling to make plans or to confirm an appointment, I just don’t see the need to be on the phone. When I want to “catch up” with a friend, I’d rather just make plans to get together and see them in person. It’s easier and more enjoyable for me to catch up that way, especially with two kids on my hands. So, if I don’t call you often (or ever) don’t take it the wrong way. It’s not you, it’s me
A neat freak – Much to my husband’s dismay, I am just not a neat freak. My house is by no means a pig sty, but it’s also not immaculate. I don’t know how it could be with two small children constantly taking things out and not returning them to their “proper” places. I try to have Brinley return one toy before taking out another one to play with, but most of the time she puts it somewhere convenient for her, not necessarily where it goes. There are so many things that I have to do on a daily basis, I just don’t have time to worry about being super neat. I load and empty the dishwasher probably twice a day, I do a few loads of laundry most days, I get three people dressed and fed everyday. So if my bed goes unmade, I just don’t worry about it.
A storybook character – You’ve probably read some of my posts about Brinley’s imagination and how she likes to pretend that our family takes on the persona of various storybook characters. Well, don’t be confused, my identity still has not changed. I’m still a 29 year old wife and mother of two. Yes, I will age, but I will always be a wife and mother and not a furry creature. Sorry to disappoint you!
Unemployed – About a month ago, Scott and I were filling out some sort of paperwork, either for our mortgage or our taxes (I can’t remember which). We got to the field regarding employment. The choices were either ‘employed’ or ‘unemployed’. To me, I do not fit into either of these categories. I’m not technically employed as my bosses are a 3 year old and a 9 month old who do not pay me monetarily (rather with hugs and kisses). However, I don’t consider myself unemployed either. To me, unemployed implies that you are seeking employment, not that you chose to stay at home and raise your children. So, where do I belong?
I will likely be adding to this list as time goes on.