Posts tagged Parenting
Play area police.
Aug 25th
Rain, rain, go the eff away!
I say this with mixed emotions. Most of me is completely hating the rain right now, but the homeowner, lawn owner part of my really likes it. It means our near lifeless grass which we’ve watered (according to the water ban) with no avail, is now getting a grand old drink and beginning to look green again. But this is day four of rain and the girls and I are beginning to go stir crazy.
Over two of the past four days we’ve visited malls. And apparently so did everyone else. They were both crowded and filled to the brim with kids of all ages. We got some shopping done and had some delicious lunches in the foot court, but we also had some too close encounters in the play areas. See, I’m used to going to the mall in the winter during the week when there is no one there except for me, some old ladies, and a few other SAHMs. So, going to the mall int he summer when school is not yet back in session is a whole ‘nother beast!
Our mall’s play area looks a lot like this one:
It has a little club house with a slide and a tunnel and then 2 or 3 other climb in/sit in play structures. The flooring is soft and it’s enclosed with benches. The sign at the entrance specifically states that the area is for children under 42 inches tall and that children must be supervised by a parent/adult at all times. However, no one mans the entrance or makes sure that people abide by these rules.
So, on Monday, we ate lunch and then hit up the play area. It was teeming with children of all ages and heights. I knew it wasn’t going to be an enjoyable time. Just as I was about to scoop the girls back up and leave, a boy, probably 8 or 9 years old and well over 42 inches tall, clotheslined Brinley and she fell to the ground. He kept right on running. No one stopped him or came over to see if my kids was ok. I took the girls out and went over to the “Member Services” booth. I asked the lady working there if anyone checked up on the play area to make sure that people were playing by the rules. She was very nice and said not typically but that if I had a problem that she could call the security guard over. I said yes, please and left the area to do some shopping. When we returned to the play area it was much more calm and the girls got to play for a little bit.
Today, we went to a mall again (I know, I know but sometimes you just gotta get out of the house!). Again, this mall was crowded but I expected it after seeing the mall on Monday. We did a little shopping and then went to have lunch. After lunch we went to this mall’s play area which is almost identical to the other one. It was pretty crowded but most of the kids seemed like they belonged there. I decided to assume the role of “play area police” today. I wasn’t mean or rude, but I stood watch near the slide for a bit. Kids have a hard time waiting in line for the slide and I was simply there to help them remember to take turns. (I was also watching out for Nora as she climbed the stairs.) So anyway, Nora made her way up the stairs and then down the slide. Once she got to the bottom she was so proud. She stood up and started clapping. Within a fraction of a second, one of the too big kids ran by her and stiff armed her to the face. She fell and he kept right on running.
Now if Brinley, who is almost four, gets bumped into a little too roughly I usually let her work it out and things are fine. But it’s a different story when a 7 year old boy stiff arms your 15 month old daughter to the face. So, I did what any other mean concerned mother would do. I stopped the boy and told him that he should slow down and watch where he was going. I reminded him that the play area was for small children and that if he was going to play here he really had to be careful. He apologized. I’m not sure where his parents were but within a minute or two he was gone from the play area. I win!
So, yes, I’m THAT mom. I refuse to stand idly by and watch my sweet little bruiser girl get stiff armed to the face by a boy who is clearly too big for the play area. I just wish some parents would be more responsible. I know the day will come when my girls are just on the cusp of being too big to go in the play area. They’ll beg to go in and I’ll have to tell them no. Rules are rules. And they’re there for a reason. ::Stepping down from my soapbox::
Just remember.
Aug 17th
Long before I was a mother I knew that when I had children I wanted to be home raising them. It’s the way I always envisioned my life. But, I never thought about it from a financial standpoint. In my mind, all I saw was myself getting married, having children and being home to care for them. It wasn’t until I was actually part of the working world that I realized not working would mean not having an income. It’s not that I didn’t understand the fact that not having a job = not making money, I just never really, fully, though it through.
Luckily, when Scott and I discussed having children (even before we were married) we both felt strongly that I would become a stay-at-home-mom.* Even so, when I was pregnant with Brinley we discussed how this would impact us financially and whether or not we could make it work. We weighed the cost of daycare vs. me losing my salary and agreed that we could, in fact, make it work. Although I pretty much had my mind made up about the whole thing even before I was pregnant, it was still very difficult leaving a job that I absolutely loved, teaching. Not only did I have to leave lots of amazing colleagues and an extremely admired principal, but I had to say good bye to students that I had made very strong bonds with. Hard stuff I tell ya!
Anyway, once I resigned and said good bye to my friends, students and paycheck, I was ready to face the reality that I dreamed of. The day Brinley was born my life changed forever. I no longer had a commute, a boss, or a job. It was both fantastic and scary at the same time. My days included changing diapers, folding tiny laundry, and watching her sleep. I loved every single second of it. There were days when I missed going to work and having adult interaction but with time, that faded. I’ve almost reached the point where I’ve been a SAHM for as long as I was a working woman.
Now I have two amazing daughters and my life as a SAHM is exactly what I imagined it would be. We’re busy girls and have lots of fun together. I do lots of cooking, cleaning and chauffeuring and I love it all. But sometimes the person who is really the key in making this all happen gets overlooked or under appreciated. Quite often people will tell me that I am an awesome mother and that I really seem like I’ve got it all down (and I’m very flattered by all of that). But the job that I do would not be possible without an extremely supportive, hardworking, and never doubting husband. He is my rock, my lifeline and my best friend. So just remember, behind every amazing stay-at-home-mom there is an equally, if not more, amazing, hard working, unselfish husband and father.
*Just because I feel strongly that being a SAHM is right for me and my family, I realize that it’s not the right decision, for whatever reason, for every family. I am in no way trying to start a SAHM vs. WOHM debate. The End.
Minus one child.
Aug 16th
I completely forgot how easy it was to have just one child. I’m not trying to belittle the job that any of you parents of one do, but having just one child is cake compared to having two (or more, I’m sure).
You see, on Thursday Brinley asked me if she could have a sleep over at Mimi’s (my mom’s) house. I’m not sure if the idea originated in Brinley’s mind or Mimi’s but that’s a moot point. She’s slept there a few times before when Mimi was babysitting but this was the first time she had asked to sleep over just for fun. After running the idea by Scott, I said that it was ok. We were already out shopping with Mimi when the idea came about and it made no sense for me to go back home and get her an overnight bag so we did what any bargain shopping mom would do – we went to the clearance rack at Kohls. After picking out some princess pajamas and an outfit for the next day we made a pit stop at the car to get her some underwear (I always keep a few spare pairs there in case of an accident). And Mimi has a toothbrush for Brinley at her house.
So we left the store and I took Nora while Brinley went with Mimi in her car (she has a carseat in Mimi’s car too) and off we went our separate ways. When I got home, Nora was ready for a nap. I put her in her crib and felt almost at a loss for what to do. Usually when she’s napping I spend alone time with Brinley playing games or doing things that Nora makes impossible. But I didn’t have to do any of that. So what did I do? I cleaned the kitchen and swept the floors and did some laundry – boooooooring! Then I caught up on some blog reading while waiting for Scott to get home from work.
When Nora woke up from her nap, we played and I made her dinner. She was a joy. She never whined or cried or screamed. When Scott got home from work we hung out, just the three of us. Now of course we missed Brinley but it was really nice to spend some quality alone time with just Nora. We put her to bed and then watched some TV. She slept until 8:45am! When she woke up we brought her in to bed with us. Then we all got up and had breakfast. She was a peach the entire time.
This made me realize something. Nora gets a bad wrap. And it’s because of Brinley. They’re both amazing, wonderful, smart kids but when they’re together they get on each others nerves and often bring out the bad side in one another. Nora is always getting into Brinley’s projects and Brinley is always touching and taunting Nora unnecessarily. Good ol’ sibling rivalry. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of times when they’re loving on each other and playing really well, but those seem to be overshadowed by the times when they’re annoying each other.
It was really awesome to be able to focus on just one child for a little while. Brinley had our undivided attention for 2 years and 8 months before Nora came into our lives. Nora has never had our undivided attention. I realize that is what happens when you have more than one child but it makes me feel a little bit bad for Nora. It will be nice when Brinley is in school this fall three mornings a week and I get to spend some one-on-one time with Nora. I’m sure she’s going to love it!
Conversations with Brinley
Jun 30th
Yesterday Brinley asked me a question that I had a really hard time answering. It’s not that I couldn’t think of an answer, it’s that the answers that I gave her were not satisfying her. I’m not sure where kids come up with these things.
She asked me, in the sweetest way, “Mommy, when you were a little girl, where was I?”
At first I didn’t think much of it, and I just said, “You weren’t born yet.”
Well apparently that was not good enough. She asked, “Well where was I? Was I in your bellly?”
I said no and that she just wasn’t born yet, not even though of yet, when I was a little girl. But still, she wasn’t happy with that answer. She continued to ask where she was and then began rattling off some ideas of her own…
“Was I in daddy’s belly? How about Mimi’s? Or maybe I was still in the hospital? Was I your mommy when you were a little girl?”
No matter what I said to her, I couldn’t satisfy her curiosity. I guess the only real way to answer it would be to explain the birds and the bees to her and I am totally NOT ready for that!
The best babysitter
Jun 24th
I have the best babysitter ever! She’s always available, always on time, and my kid LOVES her. She get’s great reviews, does exactly what I expect her to do, and always gives undivided attention. The best part? I don’t even have to pay her. I know what you’re thinking.. How on Earth did I find such an awesome babysitter? Well, I’ll let you in on my little secret, but you have to promise not to pass judgment. You see, you too can have a babysitter like this. I’ll tell you how to find her. Walk into your living room, playroom, family room or whatever you call it. The babysitter comes in all different sizes so I can’t give specifics on what to look for though she’s usually black and quite thin these days. Are you catching my drift here?
Yup, my babysitter is the TV. It’s not what you think though. I don’t put my kid in front of the TV for hours on end so I can take a nap or play on the computer. The reason I use my TV is a babysitter is because there is just no way I’d be able to do some certain thing otherwise. Like taking a shower for example. Sure I could get up super early and shower before my husband leaves for work (and sometimes I do), or I could take a shower at night when the kids are already in bed. The problem there is that I NEED to shower in order to wake up and start the day. Night showers don’t work for me. What has worked out perfectly for me for quite sometime now is this: Nora naps at 10am (give or take) every morning. This is my optimal time to shower. There is virtually no way that I could leave her unattended while I shower, even if it were for 2 minutes. She’s a tornado. So, she’s napping and then there’s Brinley. Sure she’d sit and read a book or color or something, but that is pretty short lived without her wanting me to read with her or her wanting to show me her artwork. And I don’t want to risk her running down the hall looking for me and waking Nora. So, here is where the babysitter comes in. Brinley would sit in front of the TV for the entire day if I allowed her to (which I definitely do not). It’s great because I know that she’ll sit there and watch a show while Nora is napping peacefully and I can get in a nice, quality shower and get dressed without a child pulling at my leg or screaming.
Aside from this time, we never have the TV on unless Brinley is watching a special movie or something with daddy at night. Nora has zero interest in the babysitter right now. So, I know you’re never supposed to use the TV as a babysitter, but sometimes there are exceptions to be made. Either that, or I’m just a bad mom.
