Posts tagged family
Motherhood.
Jun 9th
I want to preface this post by saying that this is not intended to be a ::slap in the face:: to anyone who does not feel the same way. I’m simply writing this as ‘the other side to the story’ so to speak. After reading recent posts from Blair, Allison, and Katie, I felt compelled to share my feelings. I have to go ahead and agree with Emmie Bee and I just wanted to give my two cents…
I remember being a little girl and always dreaming of growing up, getting married, and becoming a mom. Whenever I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always pictured having a house, a husband, and kids. Sure, I wanted to go to college and have a career to some extent. But even my career choice (teacher) was in line with my real life plans. I knew that becoming a teacher would allow me to be around kids even though they weren’t my own. Even when I was in college I was a part time nanny and during the summers I was a camp counselor. So, really, my life revolved around kids even before I was a mom. I know what you’re probably thinking: being around kids isn’t the same as having your own kids. And you’re 100% right.
But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t ready for motherhood when the time came. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I am fortunate to come from a large family with lots of cousins. I’m the second oldest in the brood. I remember most of my cousins being born and I babysat almost all of them. We all lived in the same town and were all very close. I’m also eight years older than my younger sister (who just turned 21 by the way, crazy!). So, I had a lot of experience being in the presence of newborns and watching babies grow. But again, they weren’t my children.
My point, though, is that I was aware of what motherhood would bring even before I was a mother myself. I knew there would be sleepless nights, and spit up, and dirty diaper blow outs. It never deterred me from my dream. It might sound crazy, but all of those things made me want to be a mother even more. I was ready for the challenge and eager to take it on with all I had. Everyone who knows me well can tell you that throughout my late teens, college years, and in the years before I got married, I just wanted to get to the point in my life where I was a mother.
Now that I am here, I can honestly say that it is everything I had hoped for in life, and more. I love being a mother and a wife and my family is my life. Everything that I do, I do it for them. From cooking their meals to comforting them when they’re hurt; it brings me joy to provide for them and care for them. That’s not to say that there are not mornings where I wish I could sleep in a little longer or nights when I wish I could just spontaneously go out for a movie and drink, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I don’t enjoy being puked on, or pooped on but strangely, I embrace it because I know that in time, it will all be a thing of the past. I already miss the middle of the night feedings where it seemed like the baby and I were the only ones in the world awake. I cherished those moments and they’re gone now.
I don’t miss my former self. I look back on my pre-motherhood years fondly but I wouldn’t go back to them if I had the chance. I liked school and learning, but I don’t miss the partying, clubbing or any of it at all. It was just never my thing. I can honestly say that I am exactly where I want to be in life and it exceeds my expectations daily.
I’m not sure if there are a lot of other mother’s who share my feelings on this, but I am sure that there are some. I’m no June Cleaver and I don’t claim to be. I make mistakes, I get angry and frustrated like the best of you. I’m not a perfect mother and there are many things that I’ve yet to learn. There have been many and there will be plenty more unexpected situations that arise for me as a mother, but for the most part, everything is falling right in to place.
Looking Back a Year
May 3rd
We celebrated Nora’s First Birthday on Saturday. It’s hard to believe that she is a year old already. It truly is unreal how quickly the time passes. Nora has filled our lives with so much joy. She is such a character and watching her grow and change every day is just awesome. Looking back at some of her very first pictures as a newborn, I am amazed at all of the changes she has gone through.
Right after she was born, Nora gave us quite a scare in the hospital. Scott and I were just about to (attempt to) settle down for the night when he looked in her little glass crib and noticed that she was very red. She seemed to be struggling to breathe and eventually coughed up quite a bit of mucous. We paged the nurses and within seconds a group of them came rushing in to see what was the matter. They ended up taking Nora to the nursery to check her out a bit deeper. She appeared to be fine and the chalked the mucous up to her being birthed so fast (5 minutes, 3 pushes) and not having a chance to get a good squeeze on her way through. Well, within a few minutes she had another repeat episode. This time it landed her a spot in the NICU. Luckily for us, I gave birth in a hospital fully equipped with a NICU and Nora didn’t have to be transferred to another hospital.
To make a really long, emotional roller coaster of a story, short, Nora spent 9 nights in the NICU as a result of having an immature breathing pattern and being unable to keep her oxygen saturation stable. Of course we were nervous, scared, heartbroken, you name it, about having to have her there, but we realized how much worse it could have been. It was so hard seeing some of the other babies that were in the NICU and knowing that Nora would be fine but just needed a little more time to mature.
The most difficult parts of having Nora in the NICU were traveling to and from the hospital on a daily basis, maintaining exclusive breast milk feeding, and trying to take care of two children that were in two different places. Somehow I succeeded at doing it but not without the help of an extremely amazing husband and truly supportive family members and friends. You see, our house was 45 minutes away from the hospital (without traffic). Once I was discharge and went home, I would wake up every morning, spend a few hours with Brinley and then drive in to be with Nora. While I was in the hospital with her, I would nurse her, hold her, take pictures of her, watch her sleep, and cry. I kept my sanity by going on walks around the city while she napped and by being blessed with some of the most amazing nurses ever! I’d spend from 11am until 11pm daily at the hospital. I’d nurse her while I was there and then when I went home, I set an alarm clock for every 2 hours so that I could pump and bring the milk to the nurses who would use it to feed her when I wasn’t there. I am extremely proud of the fact that during her 10 day stay in the NICU she was fed breast milk exclusively!
It’s so crazy how fast the past year has gone. Nora has been such a joy. Her smile can light up a room and her hugs just make me melt. She’s walking and “talking” and trying really hard to keep up with all of the things that her big sister is doing. I can’t imagine my life without her and I am truly blessed to have TWO such wonderful, beautiful, amazing daughters in my life!
Happy Birthday, Nora Jade!
“I’m Sorry, Gluten Free??”
Apr 16th
Today’s guest post is from Devan over at Accustomed Chaos. She is a mommy to three little ones and lives her life Gluten Free. Her blog is great because she is so full of information and shares lots of recipes and ideas on how to live without gluten in your diet. Even if you don’t need to eliminate gluten from your diet, you can still enjoy her recipes. It’s really amazing to read about her journey and how she has done so much to help herself and her family. Here she shares with you a bit about her journey with Celiac Disease. For more recipes and information about the disease, be sure to visit her blog.
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“I’m Sorry, Gluten Free??” : My journey through Celiac Disease
“Gluten Free” – 3 years ago when I was told by my doctor that this was the only treatment for what I was just diagnosed with, I was both relieved and freaking out. I was a young mother who just had her second child 4 months ago and was just learning how to handle 2 kids 14 months apart and now I was thrown this curve ball.
My heath had been an issue for some time and while I was relieved to finally have an answer for what was going on with me, I was not prepared to have to completely change my eating habits. Celiac disease … celiac disease was the reason for my weight loss, brittle bones, fatigue, digestive issues, walking around with a 6 month-looking pregnant belly (when I wasn’t). Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder which the absorptive surface of the small intestine is damaged by a substance called gluten – hence the “Gluten Free Diet”. There is no “cure” but the treatment is to strictly follow the diet.
OK… so gluten free, what does that mean? Gluten is in what seems like EVERYTHING. Pasta, breads, cookies, crackers, pizza, beer, … even the glue on the back of envelopes. I had to learn a whole new way to shop, cook, plan and come to terms that I might not be able to eat certain foods ever again.
Fast forward 3 years to today, and I can tell you that it really isn’t as scary as it may seem. The whole house is gluten free, if my husband wants a treat he must have it outside the house. My older daughter (she is 3 now) has also been put on the gluten free diet so it was safer and easier for us to have a totally gluten free kitchen. I have a strict NO GLUTEN rule (one breadcrumb will send me into a downward spiral) and as bizarre as it sounds my husband would tell you he doesn’t feel like he lives in food h*ll, we actually eat pretty good!
The initial learning period can be hard to navigate, but once you align yourself with some really great resources you will quickly realize that you are not condemned to a lifetime of bad food. The gluten free market has grown so much in the last few years and products like gluten free beer, ‘oreo-esque’ cookies, gluten free pretzels, pizza, bread and more – are all available and taste great. My favorite gluten free recipes that I cook on a regular are gluten free lasagna, orange beef with fried rice and peanut butter bars.
Things are not always easy being gluten free. I run a busy household with 3 kids 3.5 years apart and one of the biggest road blocks of being gluten free is we can not easily go out for dinner or do take out. I am also facing another gluten free dilemma when my 4 year old starts school this fall. Although he does not exhibit signs of having celiac disease I am going to have to be aware of what he touches and eats while at school (play doh is not even gluten free).
I am actually one of the lucky ones. Typically it takes the average person 10 years of symptoms and doctors visits before they are correctly diagnosed with Celiac disease. I am feeling so much healthier and I am thankful that my daughter was caught early. Gluten free isn’t a life sentence to bad food but a wonderful way to discover what it’s like to feel healthy and to use that creative cooking side.
Have you ever heard of Celiac Disease? What is the one food you don’t think you could give up?
All the single ladies…
Apr 7th
Last week I was a single lady. From early Monday morning until late Friday night, Scott was in California for a work conference (the O’Reilly Where 2.0 Conference for those who care). He asked me before he left not to “tweet” or post about being home alone because he’s overprotective of his girls and didn’t want anyone to know that he was all the way across the country from us.
Anyway, after being home alone with the girls for five whole days I’ve realized that I could never, ever, ever be a single mother, or a pilot’s wife, or a military wife, or any other woman with children who’s man is away from them for extended periods of time. I mean I’m a stay at home mom and it’s a lot of work in itself. But to not have that relief at the end of the day where your husband comes home to give you five minutes of alone time is just plain hard! It’s even harder when your kids are constantly asking when their daddy is going to be home. Let’s face it, dad is the best and mom can’t take his place. So when daddy is the one who puts you to bed every night and let’s you climb all over him and he’s gone for a whole week, it can get hairy.
I almost started talking to myself at night. Well not really, but I’m so used to having Scott here to talk my ear off after the girls go to bed and I lived in near silence for the week (well of course I watched TV, but it’s not the same). We had our share of phone calls and Skype convos but due to the time difference it was just hard to find the time to talk. Though one night we did manage to get all four of us on the computer for a chat. Brinley loved seeing her daddy but kept asking him to come home. It must be so hard for her to realize how far away California is. And Nora? Well she thought she could just go right through the computer screen to have daddy hold her. It was pretty comical.
You want to know what else is hard about being a single lady? Meals. How do you plan for your meals when you’re cooking for one? It’s so hard for me. I can’t see the point in cooking a big meal for myself when there won’t be anyone else to enjoy it with. Brinley is the world’s pickiest eater so it’s not like she was going to share it with me. Nora may have eaten some of it, but not enough to make it worth my while. So what did I do? Well one night I had a bowl of cereal, one night I ordered a pizza, one night I went to my mom’s for dinner and one night, well, I just didn’t eat dinner (I had beer and pretzels).
So all you women out there who have absent husbands (at times or all the time), you amaze me. It’s hard. Yes I do most of the child rearing and household chores, but my husband provides me with that little bit of relief at night and also with some adult interaction. I am not looking forward to his next trip!
Sibling rivalry
Mar 11th
For eight years of my life, I was the baby. The second born. The first girl. I have an older brother. He’s two and a half years older than me. I’m sure he was not thrilled when I came along, and I can’t blame him. We didn’t really get along well as kids, but what brother/sister siblings do? I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if we were responsible for the term “sibling rivalry”. I don’t think I would have had a problem getting along with him if he had been a little bit nicer to me. But to say that he was mean to me, is an understatement. He was downright cruel. He gave me rides down flights of stairs in cardboard boxes, cut the hair off of all my Barbies, ripped the heads off of my Cabbage Patch Kids and threw them up into trees, left me swinging in a tire swing that he knew I couldn’t get out of alone, and called me every mean and nasty name he could think of. I was his scapegoat for everything, or at least he tried to make it that way. My parents and grandparents never believed him when he tried to blame me for things, and why would they? He was always causing trouble.
I never understood why my brother hated me so much until my sister was born. Like I said, I was the baby for eight years. The spoiled little princess. In comparison to my brother, I could do no wrong. But the she came along and my life was forever changed. At first I was thrilled to have a baby in the house. It was like having a real live doll around. But then she started to invade. We had to share a room which meant she was always getting into my things. I tried to keep her out and she would cry and then my mom would get mad at me, me the one who never got in trouble. She tried to play with my dolls and “help” with my artwork. When I had friends over to play she wanted to play with us. I remember yelling, “Get her out of here!” and slamming the door. I began to realize why my brother had been plotting to kill me (not really, I don’t think) all of these years.
I have some great stories about my childhood that will pop up here and there on this blog. Be sure to check back often for them. Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that, as adults, I get along amazingly well with both my brother and my sister. I found it in my heart, somehow, to forgive my brother for all of the evil things he did to me as a child. And luckily, my sister was able to forgive me as well.
Where did you fall in the birth order? How did it affect your life?
