Posts tagged Brinley
Losing Control
Mar 11th
I have been a mother now for four years, five months and eleven days. For the majority of that time I have felt in control of most things baby/toddler/child related. I determine when my children eat, when they bathe, when they get to watch TV. I determine where we are going on a given day and who we will see. The power is in my hands. Though, that doesn’t mean I don’t get request for other things or protests against what I say. But the truth of the matter is, I am the parent and I make the rules. Right?
One thing that I have really enjoyed having control over for the past four years, five months and eleven days is what my children wear and how they are presented when we’re out of the house. By that I mean, I love dressing my girls in cute outfits and coordinating their hair accessories to match. I take pride in their neatness and overall put-together-ness. It’s sort of like a hobby of mine. That might sound materialistic or even ridiculous to some, but to me, it’s just the way I like it. It doesn’t mean that I shop at high end stores or dress my girls in fancy clothes. In fact, 95% of their wardrobe comes from Target or Kohls. I am a bargain shopper. What it does mean is that I just like them to look neat, clean and presentable whenever we’re out. I like them to be dressed properly for the day/occasion and the weather. Up until recently, I have had complete control over this.
ENTER 4 year, 5 month, 11 day old daughter. EXIT mom’s control of outfit selection.
I love being a mom to girls. It really suits me. {Though honestly I don’t know anything else.} But it definitely has it’s challenges. As much as I love dressing my girls, I simply don’t have the time or energy to argue about clothes with a four and a half year old. The mornings are much too rushed as it is and without at least two cups of coffee in me, I just can’t stand to put up the fight. Even if I did, a meltdown of epic proportions would ensue and I’d ultimately give in to get her to shut up! {Please do not criticize my parenting strategy, or lack there of.}
So, yesterday morning, as we were getting ready for the day, my daughter asks, “Mom, can I wear whatever I want?” I’d say this question gets asked as average of 5 out of 7 days of the week. Typically I say yes, but I do ask to see the outfit before it’s put on. If the outfit is weather appropriate and suitable for whatever the day has in store, I don’t fight it {even if it’s the complete opposite of what I would have picked out for the day.} I do have to say though, Brinley does know how to coordinate an outfit so my efforts thus far have been worth it. The clothes she chooses almost always match and look cute. {I, of course, do still have control over what is purchased! Thank God!}
Anyway, back to yesterday morning… Brinley lays out her outfit of choice and I go in to her room to approve of it. She has picked out pink leggings, a jean skirt, pink socks, and a pink, long sleeved shirt. Sounds great, right? Well, the pink shirt had a black cat on it with Halloween themed stars and said “Scaredy Cat”. I mentioned to her that it was a Halloween shirt and that Halloween had already passed but I must have forgotten to put the shirt away. I suggested another pink shirt to go with the outfit but she insisted on this one. So, I let it go. And I let my daughter go out, to a play date even, in a Halloween shirt in March.
Holiday Gift Giving, Part 3
Dec 3rd
This post is coming to you a bit after the fact. You see, I’ve already purchased all of my girls’ Christmas presents (and damn does it feel good!). But, I will still share with you what will be under the tree this year for my four year old. I admit, I went a bit overboard. It was just too easy! In case you missed the previous posts, my girls will be getting some joint gifts this year and Nora will also be getting her own loot. Oh and did I mention that I’m DONE shopping for them?!
Anyway, without further ado, here is what Brinley will be getting this year…
First, and really the only thing she has asked for, the Leapster Exploerer
I had been scouring the Black Friday ad leaks for weeks hoping for a good deal on this. The retail price is $69.99. I’m always hunting for bargains but since this is the first year of the Leaspter Explorer I figured there was a slim chance I’d get a fantastic price. I also wanted the pink one but its a Toys R Us or LeapFrog.com exclusive. I ended up buying the green one on Black Friday because Target had a $10 off coupon in their flyer and I had the $10 off coupon from specially marked boxes of Cheerios. So, I got it for $49.99 which I think was pretty good. I’m also really glad that I didn’t wait because it’s now out of stock almost everywhere! There are so many accessories and games that go along with this but I tried to be good and only bought her 3 games – Disney’s Tangled, Disney Princesses, and Ni Hao Ki-lan. Hopefully those will keep her busy for a while.
I also got her a few games. Elefun, which she has played at a friends house and loved (and I think it’s fun too), Don’t Spill the Beans, which I remember from my childhood, and Hi Ho Cherry-O.
Next I got her a Spriograph. Remember these? It’s that drawing thing where you have the little gears and you put a pen in it and spin it around and make cool designs. Brinley LOVES to draw and I know she’ll get a kick out of this if she can get the hang of it. If not, I’m sure I’ll have fun with it!
I honestly can’t even remember what else I bought. It’s hidden away for now until I wrap it. I did get each of the girls one of those Sing-a-Ma-Jig things. At first I thought they were a little scary but after playing with one in the store for a few minutes it started to grow on me. And Kohl’s had them on super sale on Black Friday. So I picked up two.
Well, there you have it folks. I’m sure I left something out but you get the general idea. My girls are a bit spoiled but we don’t really buy for anyone else so it’s not so bad. And since we just got a new furnace, humidifier, air purifier and central air coil installed last month, Scott and I certainly won’t be exchanging gifts this year. (But my birthday is on December 23rd and I better be getting something for that! What? I AM turning 30!)
Happy Halloween!
Oct 29th
No longer BFFs
Oct 7th
For the past four years I have had the bestest best friend in the world. We’ve done more together than I’ve done with any other one person in my life. Countless shopping trips, hundreds of lunch dates, lots of girl talk and millions of hugs. She is an amazing person who never ceases to amaze me or bring a smile to my face. Sure we’ve had our ups and downs but we always manage to work our problems out. I truly can’t imagine my life without her in it. All of this makes it really hard for me to swallow the fact that maybe she doesn’t consider me her best friend anymore. I know deep down inside I will always be her best friend but lately I’ve been pushed to the back burner and it hurts a little bit.
You see, my bestest best friend for the past four years has been my daughter, Brinley. But now that she is four and growing up before my eyes, she has become quite an independent little girl. She’s in school now and has new friends her own age. It’s not that I’m not happy about her having friends because I am. I love that she’s social and goes on play dates and has friends over to play. It’s just hard to her hear say to me, “Mom, you go upstairs and leave us alone to play.” It’s like she doesn’t need me there anymore to play with dolls or color or play school. My role has shifted from best friend and playmate to simply Mom. It’s a role I’ll always be more than happy to take on, but I’ll miss being the one she choose for playing games and dress up with. Now it’s, “Can so and so come over to play” instead of “Mom, let’s play dolls.”
I know this is not the last time that my heart will ache just a little bit over my daughter. I’m sure I’ll have many, many more experiences just like this one or even worse. Hopefully over time they’ll be easier to swallow because right now I’m sitting upstairs typing this while I listen to my daughter downstairs playing with her friend. Don’t get me wrong, it brings me great joy to hear their happiness and giggles, but I’m a little bit sad that I can’t be a part of it.
Conversations with Brinley
Sep 2nd
Yesterday Brinley came into my room as I was getting dressed. It’s funny how kids have no sense of privacy or the need to knock. Not that I mind, really, and not that she hasn’t seen it all before. But I digress…
Anyway, I was standing there in my towel drying off from my shower. I dropped the towel, was standing there naked and about to pull on some clothes. She looked up at me and made a strange face. Then she said to me:
“Mom, how come you still have boobies if you don’t breast feed Nora anymore?”
I took all I had in me not to burst out laughing at her. But I didn’t want to feel ashamed or embarrassed or like she shouldn’t ask me those types of questions. I love how inquisitive she is but sometimes a child’s innocence is sheer hilarity. I held in my laughter and attempted to explain to her that once you have boobies, they never go away (for the most part) even after you finish breast feeding a baby. She seemed satisfied with that answer, thank God, and just said, “Ok, mom” and scampered out of the room.








