Parenting
Now I know how my mother felt.
May 11th
I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying that how you acted when you were a child will come back to haunt you in parenthood. Well that could not be more true for me right now. I never imagined that my three and a half year old could fall victim to a toy or clothing fad. But boy was I wrong! I keep having flashbacks to my childhood where I was demanding these:
Image from The 80's Museum
and these:
Any fellow child of the 80′s should recognize both of these famous trends. I was, to put it lightly, obsessed with the plastic charm necklaces. And the jelly bracelets (which I am just now learning signal “sexual intent” based on the color), I know that I had enough to go up and down both of my arms at the same time. So I am not sure why it came as such a surprise to me when my three and a half year old daughter demanded that she have Silly Bandz.
For those of you who don’t know (lucky!!), Silly Bandz are basically plastic bands in that come in various shapes (animals, princess, rock band, cowboy, baseball, etc) that you wear as bracelets. The slogan is “collect ‘em, trade ‘em, wear ‘em” and they’re being marketed as the “Hottest New Fashion Accessory”.
Anywho, somehow my daughter learned of these magnificent things and HAD TO HAVE them. I had no idea what she was talking about when she first brought it up but I let her explain it to me and then we went to try to find them. I wasn’t sure where to look or how much they would cost. Yesterday we were at the mall and I tried going in to Claire’s figuring that they sell lots of brightly colored plastic jewelry. I went in, asked the teenaged girl behind the counter and was answered with, “Ha! Good luck finding them. We can’t keep them on the racks!” Ummm, ok. Now what? I tried, eeek, Spencer’s. (I’m not proud that I brought my two young kids into that store, but it was a desperate measure.) Again, no luck. So, I told Brinley not to worry and that I was sure that we’d find her some Silly Bandz somewhere (though I highly doubted it would happen that day). We went along with our shopping which brought us into the Hallmark Gold Crown Store. Brinley darted ahead of me and started yelling, “SILLY BANDZ!” There they were, a huge rack of them in all different shapes and colors. She quickly grabbed about five packs of them and said, “Ok mom, I’m ready to go!”
I took the packs from her and my jaw nearly landed on the floor when I saw the price tag. FIVE BUCKS for a pack of plastic animal shaped bands? I told her that she could pick out one pack for today and we could talk about ways that she could earn additional packs. We left the store and she had the biggest smile on her face. She proudly put all 24 bands shaped like zoo animals on her wrist and kept going through them naming each animal. She stopped at least 3 women as we were shopping to show off her prize. It was really cute.
I’m sure this is just the first of many fashion fad/trends that she will become sucked in by but I really can’t believe that it’s starting at three and a half. Do your kids have these things? How do you handle their demands for trendy items?
Wait! Hold the Phone!
May 4th
It seems like the suggested guidelines for raising your child are constantly changing. How is one supposed to keep up with the latest research and new studies? I still consider my oldest child a baby, she’s three and a half. But a lot of what I was told while raising her during her infancy and toddlerhood has gone right out the window. When is the American Academy of Pediatrics going to make up their minds? I know what you’re saying… “They have to change their suggested guidelines based on new research.” While I appreciate that, it makes it hard that I have to keep changing the things that I was doing with my first daughter now that I’m raising a second one three years later. I mean, the first one turned out ok, so do I really need to change my ways?
Case in point – Three years ago when it became time to introduce Brinley to solid foods, her pediatrician strongly suggested that I start with rice cereal, then move on to oatmeal, and then barley. From there he suggested starting fruits and veggies, one at a time, leaving a few days in between to make note of any reactions. I followed protocol to a tee. I was also instructed that under no circumstance was I to give her nuts of any sort, eggs, citrus, honey or shell fish before she turned two years old. Again, I followed what I was told.
Fast forward to about seven months ago… I’m at Nora’s four month well visit with the same pediatrician and the topic of starting solids comes up. He asks me when I’m planning to start and I tell him probably in a month or so. He asks what I plan to start her with and I say rice cereal. He let’s me know that I may start with any of the grains and go from there. Alright, a little different than with Brinley but nothing too different. Same rules applied for the fruits and veggies, one at a time with a few days in between. Then he lays it on me, “Once she get’s the hang of eating, go ahead and offer her anything that you happen to be eating.” I, thinking I’m all smart, say, “Right, but make sure not to give her nuts, shell fish, citrus, honey or eggs until she’s two.” He says, “No, no. You can go ahead and give her all of that stuff, except for the honey, right away. There’s no need to wait. The earlier you expose her to those things the less likely she will be to develop an allergy.”
Wait! Hold the phone! You mean I should be giving her peanut butter and scrambled eggs and shrimp? Before she’s two? Well, apparently, yes I should. According to the AAP, “Current evidence is insufficient to document a significant protective effect of maternal dietary restrictions during pregnancy or lactation. Nor is there sufficient evidence that any dietary intervention after 4-6 months of age prevents allergic disease. This includes delaying the introduction of complementary foods.”
So, Nora has dined on everything thus far from peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, to tuna fish, to strawberries. It’s a good thing that this new research came about because Nora is a human garbage disposal. She will and does eat anything. So if I’m eating it, you better believe that some of it is in her mouth as well. Since PB&J is pretty much a staple in my life (I ate it for lunch every single day of my grammar school career) it’s a good thing that I don’t have to try to keep it away from her. One of the only foods that she doesn’t like so far is pasta. Must be too bland for her. Among her favorites are taco beef, black olives, Mexican rice, and baked beans. Could she be any more different from her big sister who eats maybe four things total?
Call me overprotective, call me paranoid.
Mar 29th
Who do you trust to watch your children when you need to do adult things? For us it’s only ever been family. And by family I mean my mother or my mother-in-law. No one else. Call me over protective, call me paranoid. I just don’t feel comfortable leaving my kids with someone who is not related to either me or my husband by blood. Sure I have many friends that I trust and love but they either a) don’t live close enough to babysit when I have an appointment or b) would be totally unprepared to handle two small children (sorry friends, I love you dearly but it’s a lot of work).
Anyway, how do you go about finding someone to babysit your kids? Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. Yet I know that it is something that many parents do all the time. Heck, I made tons of cash growing up watching other people’s kids and I was a nanny for about seven of the last ten years in some capacity. So why is it so hard for me to imagine someone unrelated to me taking care of my children when I counted on other people to hire me to watch theirs?
There is no way that I can go the rest of my life (ok, probably the next 12 or so years) without having to have a “stranger” watch my kids. A time will come where Scott and I both need to go somewhere when neither my family or his will be available to babysit. My mother-in-law lives seventy miles away, and although she’d come up in a heartbeat, sometimes it’s just not feasible. My mother is pretty close by and helps out a lot but she has other grand kids and also has a pretty busy life herself.
So what is the best way to go about finding a babysitter? I’d hope to be able to find someone who was like me when I was in high school and college. I loved kids (still do) and had so much fun as a babysitter. But I get a little bit uneasy thinking about the ones who interview great but then end up sitting on the couch watching TV and talking on the phone while the kids get into everything and go unfed.
Add this to the list of not the hardest but still hard parts of parenting.
(Photo is NOT of my child)
A battle I won’t fight.
Mar 24th
To say that Brinley is a picky eater would be an huge understatement. Her food groups consist of dairy, grains and fruit snacks. She won’t eat a fruit or a vegetable to save her life and isn’t a big fan of meat either. So where did I go wrong? I just can’t put my finger on it. She used to eat broccoli and green beans like they were going out of style. I remember the days when she’d eat an entire banana every morning with breakfast. I can’t pinpoint when she stopped doing this, but somehow it just happened. It’s definitely not for a lack of effort. Scott and I are constantly trying to get her to eat new things but she won’t budge. She eats what she likes and that’s it.
Am I worried about it? Yes and no. I worry that she’s not getting all of the nutrition that she needs because her diet lacks fruits and vegetables. But when I take her to the doctor for her well visits and her pediatrician asks me how she eats and I tell him. He is not the least bit concerned. She is growing and gaining weight just fine. I’ve asked the doctor before why she suddenly stopped eating the way she used to. His answer to me, “She’s three.” I’m convinced that it’s a control thing. I know she likes the taste of things fruity because she loves applesauce, fruit bars, fruit smoothies, fruit snacks, etc. She just doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction of her eating the actual fruit.
I’ve read and heard all of the suggestions for trying to get your kid to eat/try new foods and don’t think I haven’t tried them all. I’ve tried just putting things on her plate in hopes that she might try them but that usually results in her not eating ANYTHING on her plate. I’ve tried “hiding” things in her food. But if something that she is eating looks even remotely different than it did the last time she ate it, she’ll refuse it. I’ve tried bribing her to try new things and doing the “just one bite” song and dance. All to no avail. So please don’t think I’m a slacker mom who just gives her kid whatever she wants because I’m too lazy to try to get her to eat new things. Food battles are just ones I’m not willing to fight.
Another reason that I don’t worry about it is because I know that I was the same way as a kid. I can remember being an extremely picky kid. Every single day for 12 years I brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school for lunch. Every.single.day! I wouldn’t try new things and I would only eat foods that I knew I liked. There were a lot of things that I didn’t even try until I was an adult, like shrimp and tomatoes. Now I love both of them. So I still hold hope that someday she will broaden her tastes and try new things. For now, I’ll just let her be a carb-o-holic!
Here is proof that Brinley used to eat vegetables:
Scott and I often show her these pictures to let her see that she used to eat green beans and broccoli. She still doesn’t buy it!
Not the hardest but still hard.
Mar 23rd
Being a parent is hard. I don’t think that there is any parent out there that will tell you it’s easy. Even if you have the most laid back, mellow kid, there are still things that will come up that are hard. There are things that will happen that you will never read about in any of the parenting books. If you’re already a parent then you will be able to resonate with what I am about to share. If you’re not yet a parent then take this as a forewarning of what may come. Now these are not the hardest parts about parenting, but they’re still hard in my opinion. I wish I had know about them before becoming a mom. They wouldn’t have stopped me from having children but at least I could have been better prepared. (This is just a brief list.)
- Picking up Cheerios off the floor ad nauseum – This wonderful chore happens around the time your child begins eating finger foods. I try to keep the food eating in the kitchen but somehow I still end up picking up Cheerios from the living room, bathroom and bedrooms. Why? Because as she’s eating them Nora drops cheerios down into her high chair and then they stick to her pant legs because they’re just a little bit slimy from her slobber. Once the sticky slobber wears off they fall off of her pants and end up all over the house. Oh and she also just loves to throw them off of her high chair tray. She must think I like bending over every two seconds to pick them up.
- Cutting finger nails and toe nails – Hopefully this won’t be an issue for you. It was a huge issue for us. For some reason Brinley though that getting her nails cut would hurt. I guess I can’t blame her. Cutting something usually does hurt. Well, she was so afraid of it that she would break down in hysterics whenever it was time to cut her nails. It got to the point where Scott had to sit on her to keep her still while he cut her toe nails. Please don’t report us to DSS. I promise we were not hurting her.
- Matching and folding tiny baby socks – This might sound trivial but it is a pain.in.the.butt! Not only is it hard to find the tiny socks in the sea of laundry that you have to fold but they end up stuck inside all of the other clothes. I can’t remember the last time I did laundry and was able to find a match for each sock. I usually end up with 3 or 4 that do not have a mate. I never will understand what happens to them. I truly believe we have a sock eating monster in our dryer.
- The wipes are always empty when you need them the most – Ok this irks me to the Nth degree! I have no idea how this happens. It never fails though. It seems like every.single.time there is a diaper blow out or just a very full diaper that the wipes container is empty. I keep telling myself that I need to check the status of the wipes before I take off the diaper but I never do it. Then I’m sitting there with a squirmy baby and a pile of poop with one wipe. Not fun. Let this be a lesson to you to check the wipes before you take off the diaper.
- Nothing is yours anymore, nothing – This usually pertains to food, but it can be anything. The best is when you make yourself a nice snack and just want to sit down to enjoy it and your kid comes over and swipes it right from your hand. It’s not worth trying to get it back because it will likely result in a tantrum and who wants to deal with that. Just let the kid have the cookie, right?
- You eat meals with a child on your lap – I can’t remember the last time that I was able to finish a meal with out one or both of my kids wanting to sit on my lap.
- No privacy – As with the meals, I can’t remember the last time that I was able to go to the bathroom without having company. Even if I somehow manage to get in there alone it’s only a matter of seconds before someone comes barging through the door. It’s not always a kid either. Sometimes it’s my husband. If I try to lock the door then it’s like I’m trying to hide something. I guess using the bathroom is now a family event in our house.
- Cleaning the crevices of the high chair – Do you realize how gross this is? When Nora is eating she usually will manage to grab a handful of whatever it is and shove it into her mouth. Most of the time half of it falls out, but as with they Cheerios, it’s already somewhat slobbered on. So then it falls down into the high chair seat. By the time she’s done eating it’s all wedged into the little crevices of the high chair and all slimy. When the meal is over I never have time to clean it right that minute so it sits there for a little bit. When it comes time to do the cleaning I sometimes forget what we had to eat and how gross it might be. Then I just stick my hand right in there and ewwwwwwwwww is it gross!
- Changing crib sheets period – This is just not a fun task. Ever. I hate it. The end.
Like I said, this is just a brief list. There are many more things that are just plain hard. What’s on your list?
