Parenting
It can happen to anyone.
Jul 7th
As I told you yesterday, we spent the day at the beach on Saturday with lots of family. It was crowded but lots of fun. This was the firs time, really, that we had the girls at the ocean. We’ve taken them to the beach at my parent’s lake house, but it’s on a small lake and it’s rarely crowded. You can see from one end of the sand to the other easily. The beach on Saturday was more like this:
Ok maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but that’s certainly what it felt like! I’m not a huge fan of the beach to begin with so this left me a little bit uneasy. In between shaking sand out of my bathing suit bottom and cleaning sand off of the kids’ cups (hands, mouths, food, towels) I spent just about every other minute of the day making sure that I could see both of the girls. We had a lot of family members around us so I always felt sure that someone had an eye on each of them at any given time, but if I couldn’t see them, it made me a little nervous.
Well, after we had been there for about 3 or so hours, I got more comfortable in the setting and everyone was having a great time. And then a woman approached us. She was a bit frantic looking. She started hollering to anyone who would listen, “A six year old boy is missing. His name is Shane. He’s wearing a camouflaged bathing suit.” My heart immediately began pounding at the thought of someone’s child missing on a very crowded beach. A parent’s worse nightmare. I made sure everyone that I was with knew what the woman said and then I stood up and started scanning the crowd. My heart would start racing even faster (if that’s even possible) and then I’d immediately look to both of my girls making sure they were right there with us. If I couldn’t find them for a second, my throat began to feel a little tight.
The woman continued to walk up the beach making her announcement. Then she saw some police officers standing at the top of the sea wall. She climbed up the very uneven, sand covered, concrete stairs to talk with them. They radioed the message to other officers and the woman descended the stairs. And fell. This scene was totally upsetting. She hit her head on the stairs when she fell. So now not only was she searching for her (I’m guessing) grandson who was missing on the crowded beach, but she was being taken away on a stretcher to the hospital. I felt like I was going to throw up just thinking of it.
Well, I won’t leave you with a sense of panic. Instead, I will leave you relieved. Not minutes after the woman was taken away the little boy was found by his family. The woman was fine and just required a stitch or two to close her wound. But this will forever leave a mark with me. I will never lose sight of my children in a crowd. I will never become complacent where I think “that will never happen to me”. It can happen to anyone. Be vigilant. Keep your eyes and the eyes of anyone who is with you on your kids at all times.
Too little or too much?
Jul 1st
Brinley is at the age where she is old enough to sign up for team sports and other activities. We’ve dabbled in dance class which she absolutely loves and she plays soccer and T-ball in the yard all the time. Most sports and activities start up in the fall when school is back in session but registration for these things is going on NOW. There’s no doubt that she’ll take ballet in the fall, but is that enough? Should she also play a sport? If so, which one? Do I let her choose or do I sign her up for the one(s) that I think she’ll like and do well at?
I don’t want to overdo it with scheduling activities for her because she’s still so young and I want her to have plenty of time to be a kid and play with her toys and enjoy the freedom of choosing what to do and when. But I also don’t want her to miss out on anything or to be late in starting certain sports or activities when other kids may already be doing them. I’m looking for that perfect happy medium but I’m just not sure what it is. And it’s probably different for every kid/family and that’s what makes it so difficult to decide.
It seems I’m always hearing about parents who over schedule their children with activities. They’re in swimming, gymnastics, dance, soccer, T-ball, piano lessons AND Girl Scouts on top of going to school. To me that just seems like too much. It doesn’t leave any room for spur of the moment plans during the week or time for visits to friends and family or even time to just play at home. And can the kid really get good at all of those things at once? I agree that it’s good to expose your kids to many different activities so that they know what is available to them, but how many of those things should they participate in at once?
Brinley will go to school three days a week in the fall. We’ll sign her up for ballet which will be 45 minutes per week and I’ve decided to sign her up for soccer. When I initially asked her about soccer she was very excited, but each time that I bring it up with her, she changes her mind. I’m not going to un-register her, we’ll just see what happens in the fall. Maybe she’ll love it, maybe she won’t. When soccer season is over, we’ll look for another activity to replace it and maybe add something else. I just don’t want to be a slave to my four year old’s (I can’t believe she’s almost 4!) schedule and have to be driving around everywhere all the time. I also think it’s unfair to Nora (younger siblings) to be carted around all day to their older siblings’ activities.
What’s your take on all of this? Is it better for the kids to do more and keep busy or just stick with two or three things and have some freedom? What is your happy medium? What activities has your four year old loved?
The best babysitter
Jun 24th
I have the best babysitter ever! She’s always available, always on time, and my kid LOVES her. She get’s great reviews, does exactly what I expect her to do, and always gives undivided attention. The best part? I don’t even have to pay her. I know what you’re thinking.. How on Earth did I find such an awesome babysitter? Well, I’ll let you in on my little secret, but you have to promise not to pass judgment. You see, you too can have a babysitter like this. I’ll tell you how to find her. Walk into your living room, playroom, family room or whatever you call it. The babysitter comes in all different sizes so I can’t give specifics on what to look for though she’s usually black and quite thin these days. Are you catching my drift here?
Yup, my babysitter is the TV. It’s not what you think though. I don’t put my kid in front of the TV for hours on end so I can take a nap or play on the computer. The reason I use my TV is a babysitter is because there is just no way I’d be able to do some certain thing otherwise. Like taking a shower for example. Sure I could get up super early and shower before my husband leaves for work (and sometimes I do), or I could take a shower at night when the kids are already in bed. The problem there is that I NEED to shower in order to wake up and start the day. Night showers don’t work for me. What has worked out perfectly for me for quite sometime now is this: Nora naps at 10am (give or take) every morning. This is my optimal time to shower. There is virtually no way that I could leave her unattended while I shower, even if it were for 2 minutes. She’s a tornado. So, she’s napping and then there’s Brinley. Sure she’d sit and read a book or color or something, but that is pretty short lived without her wanting me to read with her or her wanting to show me her artwork. And I don’t want to risk her running down the hall looking for me and waking Nora. So, here is where the babysitter comes in. Brinley would sit in front of the TV for the entire day if I allowed her to (which I definitely do not). It’s great because I know that she’ll sit there and watch a show while Nora is napping peacefully and I can get in a nice, quality shower and get dressed without a child pulling at my leg or screaming.
Aside from this time, we never have the TV on unless Brinley is watching a special movie or something with daddy at night. Nora has zero interest in the babysitter right now. So, I know you’re never supposed to use the TV as a babysitter, but sometimes there are exceptions to be made. Either that, or I’m just a bad mom.
Motherhood.
Jun 9th
I want to preface this post by saying that this is not intended to be a ::slap in the face:: to anyone who does not feel the same way. I’m simply writing this as ‘the other side to the story’ so to speak. After reading recent posts from Blair, Allison, and Katie, I felt compelled to share my feelings. I have to go ahead and agree with Emmie Bee and I just wanted to give my two cents…
I remember being a little girl and always dreaming of growing up, getting married, and becoming a mom. Whenever I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always pictured having a house, a husband, and kids. Sure, I wanted to go to college and have a career to some extent. But even my career choice (teacher) was in line with my real life plans. I knew that becoming a teacher would allow me to be around kids even though they weren’t my own. Even when I was in college I was a part time nanny and during the summers I was a camp counselor. So, really, my life revolved around kids even before I was a mom. I know what you’re probably thinking: being around kids isn’t the same as having your own kids. And you’re 100% right.
But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t ready for motherhood when the time came. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I am fortunate to come from a large family with lots of cousins. I’m the second oldest in the brood. I remember most of my cousins being born and I babysat almost all of them. We all lived in the same town and were all very close. I’m also eight years older than my younger sister (who just turned 21 by the way, crazy!). So, I had a lot of experience being in the presence of newborns and watching babies grow. But again, they weren’t my children.
My point, though, is that I was aware of what motherhood would bring even before I was a mother myself. I knew there would be sleepless nights, and spit up, and dirty diaper blow outs. It never deterred me from my dream. It might sound crazy, but all of those things made me want to be a mother even more. I was ready for the challenge and eager to take it on with all I had. Everyone who knows me well can tell you that throughout my late teens, college years, and in the years before I got married, I just wanted to get to the point in my life where I was a mother.
Now that I am here, I can honestly say that it is everything I had hoped for in life, and more. I love being a mother and a wife and my family is my life. Everything that I do, I do it for them. From cooking their meals to comforting them when they’re hurt; it brings me joy to provide for them and care for them. That’s not to say that there are not mornings where I wish I could sleep in a little longer or nights when I wish I could just spontaneously go out for a movie and drink, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I don’t enjoy being puked on, or pooped on but strangely, I embrace it because I know that in time, it will all be a thing of the past. I already miss the middle of the night feedings where it seemed like the baby and I were the only ones in the world awake. I cherished those moments and they’re gone now.
I don’t miss my former self. I look back on my pre-motherhood years fondly but I wouldn’t go back to them if I had the chance. I liked school and learning, but I don’t miss the partying, clubbing or any of it at all. It was just never my thing. I can honestly say that I am exactly where I want to be in life and it exceeds my expectations daily.
I’m not sure if there are a lot of other mother’s who share my feelings on this, but I am sure that there are some. I’m no June Cleaver and I don’t claim to be. I make mistakes, I get angry and frustrated like the best of you. I’m not a perfect mother and there are many things that I’ve yet to learn. There have been many and there will be plenty more unexpected situations that arise for me as a mother, but for the most part, everything is falling right in to place.
Decisions, decisions.
Jun 2nd
Being a parent is all about making decisions. Let’s face it, until your kids are capable of making the right choice for themselves (even though they won’t always do it), you are going to be the one making the choices for them. When you think about parenting this way, it really puts the pressure on. The problem is that the right choice for your child really depends on who your child is and who you are as a parent. There is no one right choice that will fit every kid. Too bad, though, because that would make parenting a heck of a lot easier.
First you have your basic this or that decisions: breast or bottle, cloth or disposable, yadda yadda. If you’ve read this post then you know which choices I made but you also know that I think everyone deserves the right to make their own decision based on their situation and lifestyle. Anyway, not every decision is going to be as easy as a this or that. Take the pacifier for example. When is the best time to take it away? Or potty trianing. When should you start? And what about moving your toddler into a bed? The answer to these questions – it depends.
It depends on your child and it depends on your situation and lifestyle. Sure you’re going to look for advice from professionals and other parents. But none of them will be able to give you a definitive answer to these types of questions. (If they try to then they obviously don’t know anything about parenting).
Before I had kids, I thought that I knew everything there was to know about the little brats cherubs. Boy was I wrong. Sure I was a teacher and a nanny and I had been a camp counselor for years. But none of those children were mine. I didn’t have to make any of the hard decisions with regard to them. Even now that I am a parent, I don’t know everything about raising kids. I think I’m doing a pretty darn good job at raising my own, but hand me someone else and I’ll likely be stumped in some ways. Oh and don’t think that just because something worked flawlessly for one of your children that it’s going to work for the others. If you’re lucky it might, but chances are, it won’t.
What do you think are some of the more difficult decisions that you’ve had to make as a parent? Where do you turn for advice in helping you decide?
