Parenting
Play area police.
Aug 25th
Rain, rain, go the eff away!
I say this with mixed emotions. Most of me is completely hating the rain right now, but the homeowner, lawn owner part of my really likes it. It means our near lifeless grass which we’ve watered (according to the water ban) with no avail, is now getting a grand old drink and beginning to look green again. But this is day four of rain and the girls and I are beginning to go stir crazy.
Over two of the past four days we’ve visited malls. And apparently so did everyone else. They were both crowded and filled to the brim with kids of all ages. We got some shopping done and had some delicious lunches in the foot court, but we also had some too close encounters in the play areas. See, I’m used to going to the mall in the winter during the week when there is no one there except for me, some old ladies, and a few other SAHMs. So, going to the mall int he summer when school is not yet back in session is a whole ‘nother beast!
Our mall’s play area looks a lot like this one:
It has a little club house with a slide and a tunnel and then 2 or 3 other climb in/sit in play structures. The flooring is soft and it’s enclosed with benches. The sign at the entrance specifically states that the area is for children under 42 inches tall and that children must be supervised by a parent/adult at all times. However, no one mans the entrance or makes sure that people abide by these rules.
So, on Monday, we ate lunch and then hit up the play area. It was teeming with children of all ages and heights. I knew it wasn’t going to be an enjoyable time. Just as I was about to scoop the girls back up and leave, a boy, probably 8 or 9 years old and well over 42 inches tall, clotheslined Brinley and she fell to the ground. He kept right on running. No one stopped him or came over to see if my kids was ok. I took the girls out and went over to the “Member Services” booth. I asked the lady working there if anyone checked up on the play area to make sure that people were playing by the rules. She was very nice and said not typically but that if I had a problem that she could call the security guard over. I said yes, please and left the area to do some shopping. When we returned to the play area it was much more calm and the girls got to play for a little bit.
Today, we went to a mall again (I know, I know but sometimes you just gotta get out of the house!). Again, this mall was crowded but I expected it after seeing the mall on Monday. We did a little shopping and then went to have lunch. After lunch we went to this mall’s play area which is almost identical to the other one. It was pretty crowded but most of the kids seemed like they belonged there. I decided to assume the role of “play area police” today. I wasn’t mean or rude, but I stood watch near the slide for a bit. Kids have a hard time waiting in line for the slide and I was simply there to help them remember to take turns. (I was also watching out for Nora as she climbed the stairs.) So anyway, Nora made her way up the stairs and then down the slide. Once she got to the bottom she was so proud. She stood up and started clapping. Within a fraction of a second, one of the too big kids ran by her and stiff armed her to the face. She fell and he kept right on running.
Now if Brinley, who is almost four, gets bumped into a little too roughly I usually let her work it out and things are fine. But it’s a different story when a 7 year old boy stiff arms your 15 month old daughter to the face. So, I did what any other mean concerned mother would do. I stopped the boy and told him that he should slow down and watch where he was going. I reminded him that the play area was for small children and that if he was going to play here he really had to be careful. He apologized. I’m not sure where his parents were but within a minute or two he was gone from the play area. I win!
So, yes, I’m THAT mom. I refuse to stand idly by and watch my sweet little bruiser girl get stiff armed to the face by a boy who is clearly too big for the play area. I just wish some parents would be more responsible. I know the day will come when my girls are just on the cusp of being too big to go in the play area. They’ll beg to go in and I’ll have to tell them no. Rules are rules. And they’re there for a reason. ::Stepping down from my soapbox::
Minus one child.
Aug 16th
I completely forgot how easy it was to have just one child. I’m not trying to belittle the job that any of you parents of one do, but having just one child is cake compared to having two (or more, I’m sure).
You see, on Thursday Brinley asked me if she could have a sleep over at Mimi’s (my mom’s) house. I’m not sure if the idea originated in Brinley’s mind or Mimi’s but that’s a moot point. She’s slept there a few times before when Mimi was babysitting but this was the first time she had asked to sleep over just for fun. After running the idea by Scott, I said that it was ok. We were already out shopping with Mimi when the idea came about and it made no sense for me to go back home and get her an overnight bag so we did what any bargain shopping mom would do – we went to the clearance rack at Kohls. After picking out some princess pajamas and an outfit for the next day we made a pit stop at the car to get her some underwear (I always keep a few spare pairs there in case of an accident). And Mimi has a toothbrush for Brinley at her house.
So we left the store and I took Nora while Brinley went with Mimi in her car (she has a carseat in Mimi’s car too) and off we went our separate ways. When I got home, Nora was ready for a nap. I put her in her crib and felt almost at a loss for what to do. Usually when she’s napping I spend alone time with Brinley playing games or doing things that Nora makes impossible. But I didn’t have to do any of that. So what did I do? I cleaned the kitchen and swept the floors and did some laundry – boooooooring! Then I caught up on some blog reading while waiting for Scott to get home from work.
When Nora woke up from her nap, we played and I made her dinner. She was a joy. She never whined or cried or screamed. When Scott got home from work we hung out, just the three of us. Now of course we missed Brinley but it was really nice to spend some quality alone time with just Nora. We put her to bed and then watched some TV. She slept until 8:45am! When she woke up we brought her in to bed with us. Then we all got up and had breakfast. She was a peach the entire time.
This made me realize something. Nora gets a bad wrap. And it’s because of Brinley. They’re both amazing, wonderful, smart kids but when they’re together they get on each others nerves and often bring out the bad side in one another. Nora is always getting into Brinley’s projects and Brinley is always touching and taunting Nora unnecessarily. Good ol’ sibling rivalry. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of times when they’re loving on each other and playing really well, but those seem to be overshadowed by the times when they’re annoying each other.
It was really awesome to be able to focus on just one child for a little while. Brinley had our undivided attention for 2 years and 8 months before Nora came into our lives. Nora has never had our undivided attention. I realize that is what happens when you have more than one child but it makes me feel a little bit bad for Nora. It will be nice when Brinley is in school this fall three mornings a week and I get to spend some one-on-one time with Nora. I’m sure she’s going to love it!
It can happen to anyone.
Jul 7th
As I told you yesterday, we spent the day at the beach on Saturday with lots of family. It was crowded but lots of fun. This was the firs time, really, that we had the girls at the ocean. We’ve taken them to the beach at my parent’s lake house, but it’s on a small lake and it’s rarely crowded. You can see from one end of the sand to the other easily. The beach on Saturday was more like this:
Ok maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but that’s certainly what it felt like! I’m not a huge fan of the beach to begin with so this left me a little bit uneasy. In between shaking sand out of my bathing suit bottom and cleaning sand off of the kids’ cups (hands, mouths, food, towels) I spent just about every other minute of the day making sure that I could see both of the girls. We had a lot of family members around us so I always felt sure that someone had an eye on each of them at any given time, but if I couldn’t see them, it made me a little nervous.
Well, after we had been there for about 3 or so hours, I got more comfortable in the setting and everyone was having a great time. And then a woman approached us. She was a bit frantic looking. She started hollering to anyone who would listen, “A six year old boy is missing. His name is Shane. He’s wearing a camouflaged bathing suit.” My heart immediately began pounding at the thought of someone’s child missing on a very crowded beach. A parent’s worse nightmare. I made sure everyone that I was with knew what the woman said and then I stood up and started scanning the crowd. My heart would start racing even faster (if that’s even possible) and then I’d immediately look to both of my girls making sure they were right there with us. If I couldn’t find them for a second, my throat began to feel a little tight.
The woman continued to walk up the beach making her announcement. Then she saw some police officers standing at the top of the sea wall. She climbed up the very uneven, sand covered, concrete stairs to talk with them. They radioed the message to other officers and the woman descended the stairs. And fell. This scene was totally upsetting. She hit her head on the stairs when she fell. So now not only was she searching for her (I’m guessing) grandson who was missing on the crowded beach, but she was being taken away on a stretcher to the hospital. I felt like I was going to throw up just thinking of it.
Well, I won’t leave you with a sense of panic. Instead, I will leave you relieved. Not minutes after the woman was taken away the little boy was found by his family. The woman was fine and just required a stitch or two to close her wound. But this will forever leave a mark with me. I will never lose sight of my children in a crowd. I will never become complacent where I think “that will never happen to me”. It can happen to anyone. Be vigilant. Keep your eyes and the eyes of anyone who is with you on your kids at all times.
Too little or too much?
Jul 1st
Brinley is at the age where she is old enough to sign up for team sports and other activities. We’ve dabbled in dance class which she absolutely loves and she plays soccer and T-ball in the yard all the time. Most sports and activities start up in the fall when school is back in session but registration for these things is going on NOW. There’s no doubt that she’ll take ballet in the fall, but is that enough? Should she also play a sport? If so, which one? Do I let her choose or do I sign her up for the one(s) that I think she’ll like and do well at?
I don’t want to overdo it with scheduling activities for her because she’s still so young and I want her to have plenty of time to be a kid and play with her toys and enjoy the freedom of choosing what to do and when. But I also don’t want her to miss out on anything or to be late in starting certain sports or activities when other kids may already be doing them. I’m looking for that perfect happy medium but I’m just not sure what it is. And it’s probably different for every kid/family and that’s what makes it so difficult to decide.
It seems I’m always hearing about parents who over schedule their children with activities. They’re in swimming, gymnastics, dance, soccer, T-ball, piano lessons AND Girl Scouts on top of going to school. To me that just seems like too much. It doesn’t leave any room for spur of the moment plans during the week or time for visits to friends and family or even time to just play at home. And can the kid really get good at all of those things at once? I agree that it’s good to expose your kids to many different activities so that they know what is available to them, but how many of those things should they participate in at once?
Brinley will go to school three days a week in the fall. We’ll sign her up for ballet which will be 45 minutes per week and I’ve decided to sign her up for soccer. When I initially asked her about soccer she was very excited, but each time that I bring it up with her, she changes her mind. I’m not going to un-register her, we’ll just see what happens in the fall. Maybe she’ll love it, maybe she won’t. When soccer season is over, we’ll look for another activity to replace it and maybe add something else. I just don’t want to be a slave to my four year old’s (I can’t believe she’s almost 4!) schedule and have to be driving around everywhere all the time. I also think it’s unfair to Nora (younger siblings) to be carted around all day to their older siblings’ activities.
What’s your take on all of this? Is it better for the kids to do more and keep busy or just stick with two or three things and have some freedom? What is your happy medium? What activities has your four year old loved?
The best babysitter
Jun 24th
I have the best babysitter ever! She’s always available, always on time, and my kid LOVES her. She get’s great reviews, does exactly what I expect her to do, and always gives undivided attention. The best part? I don’t even have to pay her. I know what you’re thinking.. How on Earth did I find such an awesome babysitter? Well, I’ll let you in on my little secret, but you have to promise not to pass judgment. You see, you too can have a babysitter like this. I’ll tell you how to find her. Walk into your living room, playroom, family room or whatever you call it. The babysitter comes in all different sizes so I can’t give specifics on what to look for though she’s usually black and quite thin these days. Are you catching my drift here?
Yup, my babysitter is the TV. It’s not what you think though. I don’t put my kid in front of the TV for hours on end so I can take a nap or play on the computer. The reason I use my TV is a babysitter is because there is just no way I’d be able to do some certain thing otherwise. Like taking a shower for example. Sure I could get up super early and shower before my husband leaves for work (and sometimes I do), or I could take a shower at night when the kids are already in bed. The problem there is that I NEED to shower in order to wake up and start the day. Night showers don’t work for me. What has worked out perfectly for me for quite sometime now is this: Nora naps at 10am (give or take) every morning. This is my optimal time to shower. There is virtually no way that I could leave her unattended while I shower, even if it were for 2 minutes. She’s a tornado. So, she’s napping and then there’s Brinley. Sure she’d sit and read a book or color or something, but that is pretty short lived without her wanting me to read with her or her wanting to show me her artwork. And I don’t want to risk her running down the hall looking for me and waking Nora. So, here is where the babysitter comes in. Brinley would sit in front of the TV for the entire day if I allowed her to (which I definitely do not). It’s great because I know that she’ll sit there and watch a show while Nora is napping peacefully and I can get in a nice, quality shower and get dressed without a child pulling at my leg or screaming.
Aside from this time, we never have the TV on unless Brinley is watching a special movie or something with daddy at night. Nora has zero interest in the babysitter right now. So, I know you’re never supposed to use the TV as a babysitter, but sometimes there are exceptions to be made. Either that, or I’m just a bad mom.
