Archive for August, 2010
Just remember.
Aug 17th
Long before I was a mother I knew that when I had children I wanted to be home raising them. It’s the way I always envisioned my life. But, I never thought about it from a financial standpoint. In my mind, all I saw was myself getting married, having children and being home to care for them. It wasn’t until I was actually part of the working world that I realized not working would mean not having an income. It’s not that I didn’t understand the fact that not having a job = not making money, I just never really, fully, though it through.
Luckily, when Scott and I discussed having children (even before we were married) we both felt strongly that I would become a stay-at-home-mom.* Even so, when I was pregnant with Brinley we discussed how this would impact us financially and whether or not we could make it work. We weighed the cost of daycare vs. me losing my salary and agreed that we could, in fact, make it work. Although I pretty much had my mind made up about the whole thing even before I was pregnant, it was still very difficult leaving a job that I absolutely loved, teaching. Not only did I have to leave lots of amazing colleagues and an extremely admired principal, but I had to say good bye to students that I had made very strong bonds with. Hard stuff I tell ya!
Anyway, once I resigned and said good bye to my friends, students and paycheck, I was ready to face the reality that I dreamed of. The day Brinley was born my life changed forever. I no longer had a commute, a boss, or a job. It was both fantastic and scary at the same time. My days included changing diapers, folding tiny laundry, and watching her sleep. I loved every single second of it. There were days when I missed going to work and having adult interaction but with time, that faded. I’ve almost reached the point where I’ve been a SAHM for as long as I was a working woman.
Now I have two amazing daughters and my life as a SAHM is exactly what I imagined it would be. We’re busy girls and have lots of fun together. I do lots of cooking, cleaning and chauffeuring and I love it all. But sometimes the person who is really the key in making this all happen gets overlooked or under appreciated. Quite often people will tell me that I am an awesome mother and that I really seem like I’ve got it all down (and I’m very flattered by all of that). But the job that I do would not be possible without an extremely supportive, hardworking, and never doubting husband. He is my rock, my lifeline and my best friend. So just remember, behind every amazing stay-at-home-mom there is an equally, if not more, amazing, hard working, unselfish husband and father.
*Just because I feel strongly that being a SAHM is right for me and my family, I realize that it’s not the right decision, for whatever reason, for every family. I am in no way trying to start a SAHM vs. WOHM debate. The End.
Minus one child.
Aug 16th
I completely forgot how easy it was to have just one child. I’m not trying to belittle the job that any of you parents of one do, but having just one child is cake compared to having two (or more, I’m sure).
You see, on Thursday Brinley asked me if she could have a sleep over at Mimi’s (my mom’s) house. I’m not sure if the idea originated in Brinley’s mind or Mimi’s but that’s a moot point. She’s slept there a few times before when Mimi was babysitting but this was the first time she had asked to sleep over just for fun. After running the idea by Scott, I said that it was ok. We were already out shopping with Mimi when the idea came about and it made no sense for me to go back home and get her an overnight bag so we did what any bargain shopping mom would do – we went to the clearance rack at Kohls. After picking out some princess pajamas and an outfit for the next day we made a pit stop at the car to get her some underwear (I always keep a few spare pairs there in case of an accident). And Mimi has a toothbrush for Brinley at her house.
So we left the store and I took Nora while Brinley went with Mimi in her car (she has a carseat in Mimi’s car too) and off we went our separate ways. When I got home, Nora was ready for a nap. I put her in her crib and felt almost at a loss for what to do. Usually when she’s napping I spend alone time with Brinley playing games or doing things that Nora makes impossible. But I didn’t have to do any of that. So what did I do? I cleaned the kitchen and swept the floors and did some laundry – boooooooring! Then I caught up on some blog reading while waiting for Scott to get home from work.
When Nora woke up from her nap, we played and I made her dinner. She was a joy. She never whined or cried or screamed. When Scott got home from work we hung out, just the three of us. Now of course we missed Brinley but it was really nice to spend some quality alone time with just Nora. We put her to bed and then watched some TV. She slept until 8:45am! When she woke up we brought her in to bed with us. Then we all got up and had breakfast. She was a peach the entire time.
This made me realize something. Nora gets a bad wrap. And it’s because of Brinley. They’re both amazing, wonderful, smart kids but when they’re together they get on each others nerves and often bring out the bad side in one another. Nora is always getting into Brinley’s projects and Brinley is always touching and taunting Nora unnecessarily. Good ol’ sibling rivalry. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of times when they’re loving on each other and playing really well, but those seem to be overshadowed by the times when they’re annoying each other.
It was really awesome to be able to focus on just one child for a little while. Brinley had our undivided attention for 2 years and 8 months before Nora came into our lives. Nora has never had our undivided attention. I realize that is what happens when you have more than one child but it makes me feel a little bit bad for Nora. It will be nice when Brinley is in school this fall three mornings a week and I get to spend some one-on-one time with Nora. I’m sure she’s going to love it!
Coming down.
Aug 13th
It is said that all good things must come to an end. This holds true, unfortunately, for vacations and The Vacation High. After living freely for a few days on vacation, the inevitable end arrives. This is where you must come down from The Vacation High.
For me it begins the night before departure. If we’re staying at a hotel or other rented space the check-out time is usually around 11am so some preparations must be done the night before. Dirty clothes must be gathered and all belongings accounted for. The place that you called home for a few days and nights is no longer yours. Time to pack your bags and get on with your normal life. Once the day of departure arrives it’s helter-skelter to get the bags repacked and back into the car. This is usually a process since you always leave with more than you came with. Dirty clothing takes up so much more space than clean clothing does. And there are always souvenirs.
Once everything is in the car, you check-out and then you see your bill. It’s always more than you expect because of crazy taxes and fees. So that’s always a downer. Then begins the drive home which is always, for some reason, much faster than the drive there. Although I’m always happy about having a successful trip, the drive home is never a happy time for anyone. We want to be back where we were with the people we were with doing the fun things we were doing. But instead we’re headed back to reality.
The hardest part about coming down from The Vacation High for me is the laundry. I need a better system. What usually happens is that the dirty laundry is repacked into individual suitcases. Then when we get home I have to go through everyone’s bag to get the dirty clothes. Then I have to sort them and wash them. For some reason, this takes me days. Case in point, we returned home from our last vacation on Sunday night. I have still yet to finish washing all of the dirty laundry. Oh and don’t even mention the unpacked bags that are still strewn about the house. They’ll get put away one of these days. But that feeling of excitement and anticipation has left me. I’ve come down from my high. As Soul II Soul sang back in the 80s “Back to life, back to reality.”
The vacation high.
Aug 12th
Remember all that stuff I talked about yesterday? Planning a trip, packing the car and hitting the road? Well, all of that combined with actually being on vacation gives me what I’d like to call “The Vacation High”. It’s many things all rolled into one (or into a few days actually). The feeling of excitement and anticipation before going on the trip, the stress and anxiety of packing for the trip, and the happiness and exhilaration of being on the trip all combine to give that high. It’s a great feeling.
Being on vacation puts me in a different state of mind. There’s no laundry to be done, no beds to be made, no appointments to attend. You’re in a different environment doing different things but there’s that sense of comfort because you’re with the ones you love most. On vacation, you eat whatever you want and don’t think about how long it will take to burn off the calories. Ice cream, fried dough, pizza, candy. You name it, when I’m on vacation, I eat it. Then there’s the beer. I’d never let myself eat the way I do when I’m on vacation on a regular basis. Not only would it seriously hurt my waistline but it would take away from the feeling that indulging on vacation brings.
Going new places, seeing new things and creating memories for my family and with amazing friends just gives me such a sense of of pure bliss. I love seeing the look on my girls’ faces when they experience something for the first time. It really is amazing. And sharing those experiences with such incredible friends makes it that much better. It’s a good thing we don’t vacation too much or I just might become a vacation addict and require some sort of rehab. 
You call THAT a vacation?
Aug 11th
When most people hear the word vacation images of tropical islands, warm beaches and fruity drinks probably fill their minds. While all of those things sound amazing to me, they’re not what comes to my mind when I think about vacation. To me vacation is time spent away from home with loved ones doing things that you all love. So while sitting on a warm, tropical beach sipping fruity drinks would definitely fit into that category, it’s simply not feasible (at least for us) with two small children.
Instead, our vacations involve packing our car full of everything except the kitchen sink, driving for a few hours, and getting comfy in a hotel/friend’s home/mini resort for a few nights. Here is how it usually unfolds – A few months prior, I’ll suggest 
to Scott that we should do X. He’ll agree because I always have fabulous plans. We’ll arrange for accommodations either in a hotel/resort or with friends (I do most of this planning). The week of, we confirm all of the reservations, make lists and take multiple trips to Target for necessities. Two days before, I begin getting things ready. Laundry is done, bags and suitcases are laid out and items start getting crossed off of the lists. The day of departure everything is finalized in bags and suitcases. This includes clothes for Scott, myself and both kids (and plenty of spare outfits for spills/accidents/weather changes), toiletries for all four of us, toys, kids plates/utensils/cups, any special or hard to find food or snacks, extra pillows, air mattress (if necessary), pack and play, etc.. As I said, everything but the kitchen sink. Scott packs the car. I refuse to be a part of it other than to request which few items are to go in the back seat within an arms reach for emergencies. He’s a master at doing it and I’d rather not interrupt. Somehow he always makes it fit. Then we all pile in the car, stop at Dunkin’ Donuts (it wouldn’t be a road trip without this important stop) and hit the road.
Our favorite destinations range from an hour and a half to a little over four hour away via car. So, depending on where we’re going at the time, we decide if we’ll drive straight through or make a stop along the way. Generally speaking, anything two hours or less is a straight through drive. If it’s a trip with a stop we try to plan the drive as follows – get in the car just around nap time for Nora. Stop for “lunch” when she wakes up. Eat and then finish the drive. This usually works out quite well but as of late, she hasn’t been a huge fan of sleeping in the car. In which case, we try to get at least half of the drive under our belts before stopping.
At this point, we’ve already had so much excitement and anticipation about our vacation and we haven’t even gotten there yet! Once we arrive at our destination it’s time to unload the car. (I’d like to take a moment to apologize to whomever decided to host our family for one of our vacations. We bring a shit ton of crap with us. Thanks!) After that task, which is usually left up to Scott so I can wrangle the kids, is done, the vacation begins.
I know what you’re probably thinking right about now… That sounds like the furthest thing from a vacation that I could possibly imagine! But you know what, it really is fun. Is it stressful? Yes. Do we want to rip each others’ heads off at some point? Yes. Do we forget things? Yes. Do we often say we’ll never do it again? Yes. Would we change it for the world? No. This, my friends, is how memories are made.
Image credit – worldofstock.com
Note: Though this picture loosely represents what our packed car looks like, we DO NOT drive a mini van.
